Soooo much has changed since then, but one thing hasn’t.
It was April, 2001. My (then) husband took the advice from the hospital staff to get me out for a couple of hours for fresh air.
We needed to release a momentary out-breath from our ordeal. He parked the car the nearest possible to darkening water’s edge of Coogee Beach, Sydney.
My insides felt like they were outside, and I borrowed some sense of containment from the glass and metal perimeter of the car. As the car came to a stop, my eyes came to rest on a sight that drove deeper into the heartbreak I was feeling for my baby’s birth – and death. In a mix of fury and futility, what I saw stung deep into the same place inside that reveres the gift of this life and this planet.
What triggered me wildly was merely an everyday event throughout the world at this point, a small pile of McDonalds litter and a passing group of intimidating, energetically aggressive, lost, over-entitled hollering and bottle-swaying young ‘men.’
No big deal, but… I wanted to scream. To wail. Like the mama in Avatar when Home Tree was struck down.
I buried in my throat, this primal roar that came fresh from the gateway of life and death with something of a mandate to wake up the de-sacralized world. As it is in grief and shock, I had been bargaining with the Mystery to give me back my baby, to have another chance at successful delivery, to do anything it took, anything at all, to nurture, guard and protect this precious life that, in an instant, slipped through our waiting hands. I bargained equally to give my other twin son, just born alongside him, for a chance to re-do-it-better-this-time, to go back in time and erase the harrowing start to his first breaths on life support and first days in intensive care. Though unrealistic, I was looking for some reflection in the world outside the hospital that would say, “Yes, we agree…life is so precious.” And I took the litter personally.
As the breeze carried the shouts of displaced testosterone and hamburger wrappers together in one waft, I begged quietly to the forces to give us a moment to sit at the loving arms of the Pacific Ocean without noise and interference…a moment to pray into the evening sky over the water, as though that ocean was like a grandma that could hold us for a moment. I wished for the litter-tossers and aggressors to sense something sacred here too. Did they have any sense of their own depth of being outside of overinflated self-importance or power-tripping? That there is an adventure out of the lost-ness? Did anyone know how to show them?
Since then, seventeen years, a divorce, an existential wander through the desert, tree-change, a relationship journey, miscarriage, and lessons galore have passed…Events and experiences that have pulled me into the dark mysteries of soul whilst outwardly doing my work in the field. My surviving twin is a fine young man himself now, (if I do say so), and our reconfigured family has been blessed with a new life to bring forth into our world. It is my sheer delight to share with you that my daughter joined us Earth-side early this year.
After the previous birth trauma, and the long journey of nearly 17 years since, I had but altogether given up hope that my daughter would manifest at all. How the Mystery pulls this off, I don’t know. But my baby girl incarnated against the odds, and delivered strongly, as if to say her time was now. All our plans for her birth went out the window and yet an auspicious plan beyond ours seemed to be in motion. We had to pull over (“Now!”), ending up at a local lookout to the Pacific that receives some of the first rays of sunlight on the Australian continent. Within moments she birthed into her daddy’s hands, ushered in by a song that happened to be playing in the car that you couldn’t pick better. Angelic verse fit to herald this sacred, sweet arrival of a life. An orchestration of timing beyond fathom.
Her presence, just six months old at the time of my writing, continues to strike awe in me everyday. Love, and resolve. Resolve to help her stay true to who she is, and help our world be one in which that can be most likely.
I see in her the Original Self tucked within us all, full of soul sensitivity, soul memory, soul medicine, and code. I want her to keep it, and I want us to find our way back if we lost it.
I see her trusting openness and how she flinches and contracts, when something course or harsh in volume or stance passes by. Amidst the occasional assaults to her nervous system and energy body, even in our semi-rural idyllic area of Byron Shire, I wonder how long I will be able to manage to hold her within the sacred, enchanted, nature-based, soul-based realms, before the wider out-of-control, ego-born influences vie for her consciousness, energy, and identity. This is not just our journey of course, but a wider one.
More than ever, I envision the deep inner self that we were born as, to come to fully be.
More than ever, I trust in the mysterious ways of soul to guide our lives.
More than ever, I mean business when I say let’s do what we can to make a global home that the human soul can flourish in and the wild of this Earth is given the status of the utmost sacred.
Rain Czupryna, July 2018
If depth work for the soul is your work too,
we are blessed to have…
Bill Plotkin in Australia in November 2018
For the past decade or so, no matter what course, workshop or ceremony I have facilitated, I have literally taken my marked-up, tattered and worn version of Soulcraft with me. So many of us have found relief and guidance in Bill’s ability to name and support the journey of descent into soul, especially in a way that is grounded, relatable, and encouraging of psycho-spiritual maturation (not just love and light and thankfully not towards disembodied spirituality nor spiritual ego). I am so grateful for his work to provide the maps and articulation that has made so many of us feel sane when we have left the consensus reality of ego, when we have yearned for communion between the wild within us and the wild of Earth; when we have taken into our bones, the imperative to honour the sacred.
I am beyond excited that Bill is coming here, and hope you can join.
So, to work directly with the genius behind the books: Soulcraft, Nature and the Human Soul, and Wild Mind; and the Founder of Animus Valley Institute (USA), here is the first opportunity to do so on Aussie soil.
Go to www.soulcraftaustralia.com.au. These programs are for those already familiar with depth work and/or are Professional Human Development Guides, (psychologists, psychotherapists, coaches, ceremony facilitators, those engendering humankind and future generations with soul-based consciousness.